What do the bathroom doors at the funeral home say? His and Hearse.

Why bachelors are skinner than married men A bachelor goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, sighs, goes to bed. A married man goes into the bedroom, lifts the blanket, sighs, goes to the fridge.

I threw a cat in a lake I have finally made a pussy wet.

Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting.

I don’t know who you are, but if you don’t stop sending me phone books, I will find you…..and I will kill you.

Did you get a haircut? No. I got all of them cut.

“on your left u see fred in camo, on your right is bertha, she has ridden many miles on that electric cart.” If walmart had tour guides.

What did the moderate muslim say to the radical muslim? Hello friend!

What did the cannibal do After he dumped his girlfriend Wipe his arse

Wife: I’m hungry! Me: I’ll order pizza Wife: YOU THINK I’M FAT! Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already? Wife: WHAT?! Me: what what??