What do you call Dora the Explorer in an Iron Man suit? FeDora I’ll see myself out.

Not a mean plane joke. Wouldnt want to make a joke about the air asia flight as it would be plane wrong and offensive.

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Who does Batman call when he needs to cool down his expensive drinks? The Just-Ice League.

If my grandmother was on Twitter, I bet most of her tweets would be about raisins.

Just dropped my iPhone in the bath tub. I think it’s syncing.

How do you get 300 babies in a bowl? Blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

I was thinking about donating some money to my local hospital… But then I realized they’d probably just spend it on drugs.

Thanks for wishing me a Happy Monday, you’ve changed my entire outlook. I don’t hate Monday anymore. I hate you. Happy New Sworn Enemy.

Why couldn’t Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom? Force of Hobbit.