Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can’t even.

Why didn’t Sally become a prostitute to pay her bills? Because it was Plan B.

What did the guy with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip

Apparently, “No kidding!” isn’t a good response when your boss says he’s confused.

Me: “OMG, my abs are so sore!” 12: (sarcastically) “What abs?” Me: “The abs hiding under this protective layer of you’re grounded.”

Please don’t feed the Kardashians.

What is a Canadian vampire’s favourite drink? Type Eh.

My local post office uses four checkouts unless it’s really busy; then they use one.

I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, you can’t prove anything.

What car does a Mexican drive? A Quebrolet.