Every atom in your body is born in a star, traveled millions of light years, & through an amazing process became you. & you watch Teen Mom.

Unemployed teachers ….. Have no class

My name is jafar, I came from afar, I got a bomb in my car, Allah Uakbar

Saw an ad for a used battery in the paper today: “Slightly rusty, in need of repair but has potential”

What do farmers say when something is important to them? It plays a big tractor.

What do scientists say when they meet each other? Hydrogen Iodide

Oxymoron Black people

Why did the marijuana addict always turn his supply packet around when buying it? He heard the grass is greener on the other side

The perfect Irish bean stew (In an Irish accent) Why does d’ perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n’ terty nine beans? Because if you added one more it’d be two farty.

Why should you never rendezvous with a pack of wolves? Because they are *meet eaters!*