Why would Target be the worst store to run the Enterprise? Because they all wear red shirts

“I find it funny when my husband brags about how big his penis is…. …..Mine was way bigger”

What is Will Smith’s favorite type of forensic evidence? Fresh prints.

If a girl has sex with many guys, she’s called a slut, but if a guy does the same… … he’s called gay.

Sorry people with seeing eye dogs that say ‘No petting’. What you can’t see won’t hurt you.

If at first you don’t succeed, fuck it. What’s on TV?

Losing my virginity was a lot like my first football game Hurt, bloody, but at least my dad came.

I don’t like telling fat jokes They weigh too much on my conscience

Bee population worldwide is exploding. What a time to be a hive.

911, what’s your emergency? What do you mean you’ve been stabbed? People can’t do that, that’s illegal.