I met this 14 year old online, and she told me she is an undercover cop… How COOL is that for someone her age?

A man walks into a bar His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

Kindness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.

Sorry I didn’t text you back, but my phone recognized your number.

For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.

I have a friend named Jimmy Glasscock You can see it coming.

Laser joke A blue laser hertz twice as much as a red laser.

I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”

Apparently, walking up behind a girl in the produce isle with celery in my hand and saying “I’m stalking you” was much funnier in my head.

Father: You’re grounded. Son: Jim Morrison sucked! *storms off to room* Father: What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!