What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair? A bald beagle!

Why did the farmer use a steam roller? He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Chuck Norris was kicked off the show “Extreme Couponing” the producers couldn’t stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris.

How do you spot a vegan at the gym? Pretty much the same as anyone else.

What do people from Cape Cod say to their butts? Hyannis

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

How did the hipster die? He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

iTunes has it all wrong… … the hottest single this year is me.

I think parents are incredibly selfish and rude for having additional children without first consulting their existing child.

What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog? All of them are adopted