What do you get when you cross Lee Iacocca and a vampire? AUTOEXEC.BAT (Not my joke, but I tell it every time a buzz needs killed.)

Wouldn’t it be messed up if we found out Rome was built in like 23.5 hours?

I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow just in case a gang of cats break in while I’m sleeping.

If i had to guess, i would guess that the number one search word on Bing is Google.

What do you call an angry witch? Ribbit.

Have you heard the joke about the guy addicted to brake fluid? He says he can stop anytime.

where does a Finnish child molester go when his ship sinks? Helsinki

What’s the difference between fucking you and 9/11? No one forgot about 9/11

“What time do I get off?” has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry.

Politicians are like Sperm One in a million turn out to be an actual human being