Peter: My brother wants to work badly! Anita: As I remember he usually does !

Veggietales is making a version of 50 Shades of Grey… It’s called “The Artichoke Hearts”.

what’s green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog’s finger.

“There” – Where’s Waldo? Cliffs Notes

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

I’m woman enough to admit when you’re wrong

Bought one of those SMTWTFS, but I can’t pronounce that so I just call it a pill box.

I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes

Did you hear about the obscenely hard gardening class required for botany majors? It was said to be a weed out class

Bernie demands change… whereas Hillary prefers cards or cheques.