*boss stops meeting* Mike, is there something you’ld like to share with the whole group? Me: Nooooo, that’s why I whispered it to Alan.

The more fanciful embroidery you have on the back pockets of your jeans, the less I value you as a person.

What happens when there are two Islamic terrorist identical brothers and one is way taller than the other? The Twin Towers.

A Chinaman goes to the eye doctor…. Eye doctor says “You’ve got a cataract.” Chinaman says “No, I drive Rincoln Continental.”

How did the redneck find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying.

What do nazis use to mass produce toys? A vinyl solution.

Why did the cyclist stop riding? He was two tired

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

I just can’t get behind gay jokes.

Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 10000 – to give the bulb a cultural revolution.