What do you call a stupid, ugly, fat cow that gives birth to idiots that don’t know when their own mother is being insulted? Your mom.

M.C. Escher goes into an ou so s W.

If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say “congratulations on your first book!”

Break ups are the worst in China… You see her face everywhere.

My friend Eric is having some real issues and shit is real bad for him… He’s constipated

I used to be afraid of flying in planes Until I tried it without one.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a crackhead? A hooker washes her crack and resells it.

If you walk in on a girl giving birth in the bathroom at Applebees, don’t judge her, you’re also eating at Applebees.

What do you call a horny chemist? An H2Ho.

Who wrote the book The Russian Milkman? Ipul Titsky