What’s the national anthem of Puerto Rico? “Attention K-Mart shoppers…”

What’s the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house? Alzheimer, Grandma.

What did the mama bison say to her son when he went off to college Bison. :> get it?

What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!

5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby? Me: I helped 5: How? Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

Is it alright to kiss a nun? Yeah. As long as you don’t get in the habit.

Police are like a box of chocolates…. They’ll kill your dog.

Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar

Hungry Hungry Hippos must get tired of eating the same thing? White spheres, again?

What’s a pickup artist’s favorite breakfast? Steak and negs. In shame and solitude