Taking the lives away from 12 baby chicks. Bought an egg carton at the grocery store…

I need a draft folder for my mouth.

Who’s the fattest Knight at the round table? Why? Circumference. Because he ate too much pi.

A donkey walked 12 miles.. but when measured the front leg walked 12 miles but the back legs walked only 10 miles Its because he was walking in a circle

What’s worse than beating a dead horse? Shooting a live gorilla

Q. How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? A. Because they look at *your* shoes when they’re talking to you.

I told my friend that I disproved the theory of conservation of mass, But he didn’t understand the weight of the situation.

I went to my first Muslim birthday party yesterday Most of the party games were normal, but fuck me pass the parcel was scary.

This one time the Angels up in heaven decided to do a little striptease for the Gods. Poor Jesus!

My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I bought him a snickers