My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.

There was a male striper who absolutely hated his line of work and wanted to quit. The pay was really good though, so he decided to stick it out for a little bit longer.

What’s a German’s favorite fruit? An Auto-Bahnana

My girlfriend just dumped me for talking too much about video games What a ridiculous thing to fallout 4

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it….. It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.

My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.

Women jokes are not funny Period.

My neighbor’s kids said they loved sneakers. They’re huge Vans of them.

Did you hear about the time that shallots, scallions, ramps, and leeks all got together? They tried to onionize.

This guy was all like “I think you’ve had enough beers for one night.” Then I’m all “Fuck you, fridge. Appliances can’t even talk.”