Tom Hanks is extremely polite… In fact, every time someone asks him for an autograph, he’s the one that ends up saying “T.Hanks”

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?[OC] (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby….Jesus.

What’s a four letter word for intercourse ending with K? Talk

RIP Paris Terror Attack Victims Never baguette

It takes balls to get a vasectomy.

I’ve been looking everywhere for my U2 CD… but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.

What did the one volcano say to the other volcano? Do you lava me like I lava you. It’s beautiful.

What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.

“NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK” k “NOT “K” THIS IS IMPORTANT” Sorry “THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT” Even fish? *THUNDER* “NO NOT FISH

Overheard two doctors in the emergency ward They were discussing a patient who had arrived with six plastic horses stuck in his rectum. Described his condition as stable.