midget in the library midget walks into a library and ask do you have any books on irony? the librarian replies sure they are on the top shelf

A cowboy goes into a shop to buy condoms Cowboy: “Give me 3 packets of condoms, please.” Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?” Cowboy: “Nah.. She’s purty good lookin’…..”

My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for “best way to clean vomit off a keyboard??”

What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.

Obviously we have our own shitty lives to worry about now but it would be fun to all move into a Twitter nursing home in 50 years.

Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team? The players all drowned in spring training.

chemistry What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? “HeHe”

Wake up your lover by hysterically screaming “Are you sleeping?!?!”

Which African country has the most obese inhabitants? Burkina Fatso

”You will die alone.” I hate fortune cookies. Wait! This is a note from my mom!