Why can’t the blonde get her drivers license? Everytime the car stops, she wants to jump in the backseat.

My family tells me that I talk in my sleep almost every night.. But they don’t say anything like that to me at work.

I couldn’t bear it anymore. Lol. – Bear suicide note.

After #Brexit, the pound crashed… …it’s down to ten ounces.

Pamela Anderson turns 43 today but her tits are barely old enough to buy a drink in this city.

I had an out-of-body-wash experience in the shower today.

If a dentist makes his money off unheathly teeth,why should I trust a toothbrush 4 out of 5 dentist approve?

What do acids hate Lyes

What’s Chris Martin’s favorite drink? Apple Martini

My friends daughter just recently turned 9 years old and has started asking him those embarrassing questions about sex. Hell, just this morning she asked him “is that the best you can do?”