How many doors are on a chicken coop? Two. If there were four, it would be a chicken sedan

5yo slooowly walks by: “Hi, mom and dad.” 4yo slooowly walks by: “Hi, mom and dad.” CODE RED CODE RED

What is Jeremy Clarkson’s PIN number? Nought two sixty.

I was so ugly when I was born, The doctor smacked my mother!

I used to be addicted to soap But im clean now

Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.

[Lies on resume about having gone to preschool] Boss: You’re hired. Your first task is to make me a macaroni picture. Me: *eyes widen* what

Freddy thought he was the true nightmare until he met Chuck Norris who roundhouse kicked and from that day Freddy hides in fear thinking a nightmare in texas

Sanders supporters are like… that kid in class that gets Fs and Ds the whole semester and then says “If I get a 100 on the final I can still get a C”

What do you call a frenchman in the World Cup Final? A referee