Steve Irwin lived the way he died… With animals in his heart.

“You Americans are so uptight!” dude from Europe who just kissed your girlfriend on the mouth

Imagine my surprise when I found out that don’t is not the abbreviation for donut

How often do I make a chemistry joke? Periodically.

“That’s one small step for man. That’s one open fridge for man. That’s one good sandwich for-” “Neil! Stop.” “I WALKED ON THE MOON, JANET”

An older gentlemen wins a scratch ticket Win for life

Why do squirrels have bushy tails? To keep their nuts warm.

Yo mama is like the gas station. Pump and Pay.

my friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry.. so I smacked him in the face with a watermelon. <_<

My best toys run on batteries