What is the cutest car? A BM-cuddle-U

This tweet is made from 100% recycled characters.

Fire alarms should just play Nickelback Anyone who stays in the building deserves what they get.

So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley She said “Tenpin?” I said, “No, it’s a permanent job.” – Tim Vine, King of the one liners.

How many Patriots fans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They’re fine sucking each other’s dicks in the dark. Preemptive edit: Not my joke.

What’s the difference between a shi-tzu and a community organizer? Zu.

dont read space facts to try to calm yourself down bc it doesnt work.for example the moon is not round it is shaped like an egg. im furious

Relationship status: Autocorrect changes my girl to my grill.

What does a bunny do to a bank? Rabbit

My dad asked me if I wanted to join an acapella group in college I told him I was straight.