“Bacon gives you cancer” is the 2015 version of “touching yourself causes blindness.”

This wrinkle cream made my balls look like some weird balloon animal.

Why don’t mexicans have barbeques? the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What’s the difference between a movie rental machine and several prehistoric towns? One is Redbox, the others are Bedrocks.

What disease do you get from kissing birds? Chirpes. It’s one of those canarial diseases. They say it’s untweetable.

Noah’s ark. A side story. An elephant asks a dinosaur: -Did Noah send you a friend request on facebook? -No …………. -That’s bad…

What do you call the stupidest fish in the sea? A dumb bass.

This is not a joke. All of the jokes here suck and or are reposts.

Are you a bandicoot? Because I would crash for you.

What do you call a female roach with a weiner? A transpestite.