I’m disappointed *The Social Network* movie about Facebook didn’t have an epic Farmville scene.

“I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!” Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL

Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer’s [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer’s

Q: Why couldn’t Batman go fishing? A: Because Robin ate the worms.

Bro. It’s not ladies man, it’s ladies’ man. Chicks dig a dude who can navigate a plural possessive.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!!!

what’s the difference between 3 cocks and a joke? your mom can’t take a joke.

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw

Knock Knock. Who’s there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?

Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives