Why is a Christmas tree like a bridegroom? After the big day, its balls are the first thing to come off.

Yelling REEEEEMIX, when your boss stutters on a conference call is looked down upon.

My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free… This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.

A man says, ” It’s raining cats and dogs!” The Chinese man comes out of his house with his chopsticks immediately…

One fish, two fish, red fish WHO LEFT THEIR BLOODY TAMPON IN THE FUCKING FISHBOWL?

One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.

American insults must be awkward in french The word douche in douchebag translates to shower

She can’t leave if you’re wearing all of her clothes.

I like my coffee how I like my Death Stars: Gigantic, on the Dark Side and powerful enough to destroy a planet.

A Chicken and an Egg are laying in bed together. The chicken takes an unsatisfied drag on her cigarette and says “Well. I guess we answered that question.”