Someone tried to tell me a joke in real life and it went on and on and on for like 3 sentences.

People from Wisconsin always make… Cheesy jokes.

[morning] her: did you dream about me? me: that depends…are you a member of the Backstreet Boys? her: umm no me: then no

sew myself into an anime body pillow, trick some unsuspecting outcast into loving a human. the ultimate prank

So glad Facebook has changed the layout again!! Said no one, ever…

7 has started saying “your life just got better,” whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid’s strong-suit.

A dying man looks up into his wife’s eyes and says, “Honey, before I go I have something I need to tell you.” To which she replies, “I already know, dear. That’s why I poisoned you.”

What’s the difference between Rutgers and Rikers? One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a computer? You can punch information into a computer.

4/10 Teachers in the UK ‘assaulted by pupils’ This is terrible… Go for us in assemblies, we’re all grouped up. You can’t miss!