Three Germans were sitting in a bar telling jokes about WWII. They lost it.

Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight.

Grooming tip: Cut your toenails every 2 to 24 weeks whether they need it or not.

How was the Irish Jig invented? To much beer and not enough bathrooms

You may be a good person deep down inside, but I don’t carry around a shovel

what”s the difference between tuna and chicken? a shower

Why did the engineer buy a mattress? To sleep under it

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu? One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

How to sex: Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button Girl: sure Girl: that’s not my belly button Boy: that’s not my finger

Rape jokes aren’t funny. They’re always forced.