In heaven there is never a line at Chipotle.

What’s the most important part of a Taliban joke? The execution!

I’m tired of the Mexicans naming their sons Jesus Jesus was not a Mexican, he was a human being. (Please forgive me)

I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work

If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad “iPhone 5S for $1 only”

Girl are you the burning bush? Cuz you’re hot. And there’s no conceivable reason you should be talking to me.

Irish Problems…. Q:How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? A: None! (potato famine) Old one, i did not make, nor do i take any credit.

Whats my knee’s favourite channel? Dis-knee channel.

Asian Keanu arrives at party. Asian Keanu gets bored. Asian Keanu Reeves.

What do you call a women with one leg? ilene