I tried eating a clock once It was time consuming.

Canada’s four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

This whole time I thought Ariana Grande was a font

Why are Saturday and Sunday strong? Because all the other days are week days.

My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out… Best game of Monopoly ever!

“Entertainment News” is a strange way to spell gossip.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

What goes thru a bug’s mind when it hits your windshield? It’s asshole.

How did Harry get it in Ron’s sweet Diagon Alley? A lubricantation.

Why did the alligator go to Disney World? To get some tots! #toosoon?