Everyone is going crazy over that Kim and Kanye named their baby “North West” I believe she’s going straight to the top… And slightly to the left

Why are oceans called “The High Seas”? Because of all the seaweed!

Chemistry joke involving the alphabet A B C D E F G H I J K Phosphorus Q R S T U V W X Y Z Why is there a Phosphorus? Because its an EL EM EN TAL P!

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being dark.

What do lawyers use for birth control? Personality.

Sure she mainly used knife emojis but at least she replied to your text.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. …..

maybe if we start calling abortions “debortations” republicans will support them?

Why can’t Stephen Hawking dance? Because he’s white.

If you ever feel silly for being on Twitter just remember there are people on national television asking “ghosts” questions.