wassup babe, im the reason Pregnancy-info .net disabled video embedding on their forums, how abuot giving me a nice kiss

Why did the punk cross the road. He was stapled to the chicken.

Don’t be an ass, be an arse. Do it with class.

why does the ad before the thing I want to watch play with ease but the thing I want to watch is like OH NO I’M FREAKING OUT BUFFER! BUFFER!

How do you know if a Russian vampire is gay? If Vladimir Putin it in the butt.

“On this episode of 60 Minutes, we’ll talk to a woman who had a baby but did not change her Facebook profile picture to a photo of it…”

I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know someone who would be very angry if she heard that.

My therapist thinks I have a drug problem. My dealer says she’s overreacting.

*leans over* Me:What’s the WiFi password? Him:Jesus Christ, dude! Me:That makes sense….is it case sensitive?

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nien.