Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9? Because Windows 8 9.

What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common… They both look great until they hit the ice.

The movie Scarface taught us that abusing cocaine can lead to making bad decisions–for example: the script, the soundtrack, and the acting.

I would make a joke here… …but Amy Schumer doesn’t need any more material.

It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants.

If you ever have to say “just kidding,” you’re probably not very good at kidding and you should stop kidding

Referring to one’s self in the third person is really obnoxious, but you refer to yourself in the second person and it confuses everyone. It’s probably why you have no friends.

The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything…. But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away.

What’s a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks.

There’s a fox in our garden! I mean a real fox, not a sexy person! Although, I am also now in the garden. There are two foxes in our garden!