What did one gay sperm say to the other? How do we find the egg in all this shit?

There’s no law that says you can’t use a tiny pancake as an eyepatch.

I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it.

What do rioting jewish people throw? Mazel tov cocktails

“Sobbing” autocorrected to “throbbing” and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction.

Good woman joke What do you tell a woman with two black eyes. Nothing you already told her twice.

My mother is in the hospital… She’s a nurse.

Schrodinger’s Pussy… There may or may not be a dick in the box.

TIL that Caligynephobia is the fear of beautiful women. So if a guy doesn’t talk to you then he probably has Caligynephobia. It’s the only explanation…

Thoughts on “The Hunt for Red October”? oops, wrong sub.