Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn’t good enough on Idols, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony.

Boy in the hospital, dying of cancer and grandma misplaces her glasses at the store and buys the first card she finds “Get Good Soon” [8]

Curb stomping your enemies and having the last thing they see in their pointless lives be your Skechers lighting up >>>>

What do you call a smelly fellow that makes bad jokes? Pungent

A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana… It was the laughing stock of the whole town.

What Do Ghosts Like To Stare At? BooBees.

I’m basically only good at three things: 1. Programming 2. Counting

1. Put on red T-shirt. 2. Remember that I need to go to Target today. 3. Take off red T-shirt.

Show me a gay married couple And I’ll show you a couple that hasn’t been married 25 years.

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him? Kelp!