I interviewed for a new secretary today and the last girl blew it. So, she starts tomorrow.

I went to a feminist convention. Everything was good, except for one thing. Nobody made sandwiches.

Send message without subject? Yes, Gmail. f$ck off.

Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax.

How do you know if someone has run a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers? I’m confused.

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

Why get thinner when you can get more dinner?

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t

What’s Donald Trump’s favorite dance move? Hit the Juan