Cats are not mentioned in the Bible because they wrote it.

The Dominos “tracker” says Ashley just left with my pizza so I only have a few minutes to get naked. Just glad it’s not Brad… …again.

“Knock Knock.” “Who’s there?” “It’s the Police, sir.” “You’ll have to wait, I’m having a shit.” “We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!”

I’d kill a two-year-old… …to get with Casey Anthony

If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid.

Unless you can be Batman, always be yourself.

The bison was declared as USA’s national mammal Hearing these news, the Republicans breathed a sigh of relief – at least it’s not gayson

When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman’s body. Thankfully, it all changed when I was born.

The real heroes are the people who don’t call back when you accidentally call them and only let it ring once.

What do you call a huge pile of cats? A Meowntain