Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.

I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it and he’s always on time.

why do females love old gynecologists… because of their shaky fingers

QWOP must be what it’s like to run for autistic people.

“I kid you not” -Abortion doctor.

My wife was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder… And, just my luck, not one of them likes sucking cock.

Why did the book join the police? He wanted to work undercover.

joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*

Why do Irish women have small nipples? If they were any bigger their babies would get alcohol poisoning.

Knock knock…