I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn’t be breeding anyway.

Donald Duck is far too angry for somebody who never has to suffer pants.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten.

What stopped winter from coming? Winterfell and it can’t get up.

Why are ghosts always dehydrated? They have a lot of boos but no water

The possibility that I hit REPLY ALL haunts every email I’ve ever sent.

The woman next to me on this rollercoaster won’t stop screaming. Its like she’s never seen a penis before.

Fetish… I have a fetish for switching on air conditioning units. It gives me vent elation.

A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They arrest it for being broke and they beat the room for being black.