Him: You’re a DJ? I’m not one for dancing. I’ve got this leg, you see? I’ve had it since the war. Me: How long have you had the other one?

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the ref was blowing fouls

Stop with the blind jokes … I don t see the point.

*Meanwhile at a restaurant* Waiter: Welcome sir, would you like a table? Me: So kind of you, I wouldn’t mind. *Picks table and walks out*

Guy getting test results from his doctor and the doctor says “we have some good news and some bad news” “The good news is, we’re going to name a disease after you”

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You poke ’em on!

Greatest Hipster Joke Of All Time How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool!

My friend David had his ID stolen So now I just call him Dav.

how many months have 28 days in them . All of them.

“Hey Pop” pleaded Angelo “can I go to the zoo to see the monkeys?” “What’s the matter with you?” asked his father. “Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt Maud is here?”