RIP evaporated water…. …You will be mist

I hate eating vegetables. The wheelchair doesn’t go down easy.

MAXIM MAGAZINE: BECAUSE YOU’RE TERRIFIED OF NIPPLES

How does an Alzheimer’s patient celebrate New Years? Kissing strangers.

Skills can be taught. Character you either have or you don’t have.

What do you call the action of a banker buying weed? A dank transaction

I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It’s called “What’s the Wurst That Could Happen?”

The legend say: When a woman is giving birth almost can feel the pain of a man with the flu.

Why should I date you? Girl – Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy – I’ll give you 69.

Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a “Wet Floor” sign. So I did.