A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They’ve both given it a lot of thought.

The week seems to go by at the speed of a snail. Unless it’s the weekend. Then the snail is driving a Ferrari.

I invented the upside down house. It’s now a top cellar.

Nobody believes that my first grade teacher was named Furious Crapjacket.

I just dozed off for a minute and woke up freaking out because I thought I missed my exit.

An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says “Oi! You look ‘armless! ‘Op in!”

How did Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalogue. ba dum tss

What happens when you keep feeding a cow money? You get rich milk.

Whats the diff between EROTIC and KINKY? EROTIC is when you use a feather. KINKY is when you use the whole chicken.

I think I’m going to adopt a kid.. Recycling is important, after all.