“Well, I guess I’ll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I’m not supposed to while you get irritated.” Drunks & toddlers.

How many jews can you fit in a VW? Four – two in the front, two in the back, and none in the ashtray because the Holocaust never happened

My girlfriend wasn’t sure about trying anal at first But she quite liked it in the end

At least he won’t annoy his co-workers every week. What did the mother and father camel name their baby born without a hump? Humphrey!

What’s the difference… between racism and Chinese people? – Racism has many faces

I’m okay with selling fake ID’s to minors because they’re all organ donor cards.

Congratulations, Americans who write “Cheers” at the end of e-mails. You’ve found something even more pretentious than “Sent from my iPhone”

19th Ammendment

What is H20 Made out of? 20 hydrogen atoms.

Steve Irwin died as he lived… With nature in his heart