Why do writers hate the bible? It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

Taking to people about your child abuse experience is the toughest part. The last time i did it, i had to spend 7 years in jail.

Whats 2 + 2 ? A math problem.

Bad Gun! Bad Gun!….Shame on you for making criminals do those bad things!…….And then those Forks that are making me Fat!!!

WAT DO WE WAMT “woaw calm dowm dude” WHEN DO WE WAMT IT “u kno this is just a line to try ham sampels at costco right”

My Voodoo doll would be a glazed ham wrapped in chicken feathers.

I want a sex change. From “none” to “some”.

Marvel announce the new Thor is female, to show that women are equal. Issue 1 sees Thor return the hammer back to her husband’s toolbox.

Kudos to Mattel for making Barbie reflect the average woman! I’m buying the one with massive student loan debt & a fear of cement trucks.

What do you call a Muslim Flying an airplane A pilot