I’m sorry I threw up all over your carpet when you referred to your spouse as your “lover”.

It’s bad enough hearing people judge others based on their appearance… but when ugly people do it, I feel horrible.

Don’t be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I’m saying.

Sorry I burnt your degree from the University of Phoenix thinking that a better degree would rise from its ashes.

What’s the Middle East’s favorite candy? YemenHeads

Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she out in the field with a shovel & idk man she’s diggin for somethin. Oh burying a body? Ok then

What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car? A windshield viper.

Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A’s are acceptable.

What did the duck say to the chicken who was about to cross the road? quack

How is digging fence post holes like being the mayor of Toronto? It goes pretty smoothly until you start hitting the rock.