bleakest Russian joke i know “children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!”

Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship.

I’m looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga

How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn’t matter. Jon Snow knows nothing.

How many toddlers does it take to change a light bulb Apparently more than 20 seeing how my basement is still dark

If you’re Canadian before you enter the bathroom, and American when you leave, what are you inside? European!

So a pirate walks into a bar… A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks him why he has the wheel on him, and the pirate replies “YARR! IT’S DRIVIN’ ME NUTS!”

*opens drawer* huh, I don’t remember this shirt being pink. OMG…did he…did he do laundry? *slowly opens 2nd drawer* -Law & Order sound

*Me & dog* *duel for the last piece of chicken* *tosses a stick to distract* *fetches the stick* *chicken is gone* Well played Peanut…!!

My father with 50 years makes 50 KM every day I say “Tomorrow I will go running”