She has the body of a goddess and the face to defend it.

You never know how strong you are until you have to move your furniture all alone.

Anne Hathaway always looks like she’s unwrapping a gift but she already knows what it is

Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid’s face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it.

What do mice eat during the summer? Micecream

If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?

Why couldn’t Beethoven find his music teacher? He was Haydn

What is the speciality of Alan Turing? He was homogeneous

Chef’s favorite personal dish? Stroganoff

How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Ceasars *drops mic, Harlem shakes off stage*