Yo mama is so fat… Yo mama is so fat she stubbed her camel toe!

Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody’s got one; Most of them aren’t that pretty; and No one needs another one.

I’m thinking about buying a greyhound, don’t know what the wife is going to say so I’ll run it by her first.

A girl posted on FB: “Sum 1 Cum 2 ma house nd sav me frm boredom” A guy replied: “sending an English teacher immediately”

James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied “Dye another day.”

Why couldn’t the artist get a driver’s license? He gave off a good Impression, but couldn’t make a Van Gogh.

What’s a pirates favorite material? ~~Arrrgyle~~*YARRRN!*^Thanks ^Bravesurf

I would make an economics joke But there’s no demand

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.

if I ever go missing, it won’t be hiking. you guys don’t even have to look there.