Why do we cry….. When it’s the onions that are being hurt?

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat The bartender says “Put that back you thief!”

hey, i’m joking; my sister was never a cutter… you know how hard it is to be a cutter with your hands full of football team?

My friend says he has the biggest brain in the world. I think it’s all in his head.

Yelled at some skinhead today & he was all like “chemotherapy, dude” & I was like, “whatever, racist” cause sometimes you gotta take a stand

Yo mama is so ugly, she went to an ugly competition They said, “Sorry, no professionals.”

A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: “Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?”

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise? He brexit.

What’s the difference between sod and a fat chick? Nothing, sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican

Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I’m not mature enough to answer that.