What do you call a tall buffalo? Buffahigh

Why Marriage is Difficult Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.

What do 9 volt batteries and butt holes have in common? You know you shouldn’t, but one day you’re probably going to try licking one.

Serial Killer… The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer. They said it’ll be a while before he finishes his sentence.

I hate looking in the mirror. Whenever I do, there is always some asshole blocking my way.

[Gets on one knee] Margaret- [Pulls out ring] Will you- will you please hide this, Gollum won’t stop following me.

What’s a wavelength’s favorite animal? A lamb, duh!

I am schizophrenic, AUA

One wind turbine says to another “what music do you like?” “well I’m a big metal fan”

And Jesus said unto John “Come forth and receive eternal life”. But John came fifth, and won a toaster.