What’s the disease that slowly turns your skin black? Rap Music

Did you hear about the furry who got detained at the border? The guards thought he was a drug mule.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

I just shortened my to-do list by 90% simply by crossing off everything that would cause me to make the evening news.

Snuck a peak at my therapist’s notepad after telling her about my childhood, and it was just dollar signs.

What’s a Russian’s favorite Italian dish? Pepperoni Picza!

What are bananas high in? Trees!

Guys. GUYS! Every issue of National Geographic is now on DVD-ROM. FINALLY! God I’ve missed masturbating to sweet aborigine pancake titties!

I have a huge fear of elevators… I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.

Which Greek god was annoyed by his invitation to the Goddess Dyslexia’s party? Ares.