How does every racist joke start? By looking over your shoulder.

In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.

Lol , Toilet (potty) Humour, funny A : Have you heard of the movie “Constipation” ? B: No — A: Obviously because it hasnt come out as yet .. LOL B: You are so fucking Stupid ..

What do you call a tree that protects Gotham City? Spruce Wayne

We would have discovered the cure for cancer by now if we rewarded, recognized and respected our scientists just as much as we do our sportsmen and celebrities.

I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be tit shaped.

My husband’s signature move in bed is to roll over and take eighty percent of the covers with him.

Why is it that when your dog brings you things he’s killed it’s cute, but when I do it we have to get the police involved?

How did the scarecrow win the award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said “Wow!” What a fucking pair of idiots.