What’s the difference between a pineapple and the White House? A pineapples pricks are on the outside.

A mite is sitting on a fly. Fly: Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? Mite: I mite be. Fly: Stupidest pun I ever heard. Mite: What do you expect? I just made it up on the fly.

Ugh I completely forgot to do something with my life.

Have you found Jesus? No? Me neither. I think we lost him near the border. God, I hope he’s ok. He had like all the cocaine with him.

What goes hum-choo hum choo? A bee with a cold !

What do I get when u heat up sour cream? Just cream, it’s not sour. -told me to by a friend. AP

How do you find the PC user in the coffee shop? Follow the power cord.

I like my women like I like my doctors Always asking me to take my clothes off whenever I see them.

I like my women like i like my cake mixes… ultra moist whites

Last name: Ever. First name: Greatest. Middle name: Hashbrowns.